The election was yesterday .. I voted DEMOCRATIC: up and down my ballot .. starting with Joe Biden and ending with our local races.
.. as expected AND as NORMAL .. we do not have a clear winner yet .. votes are still being counted in several states .. there was a RECORD-BREAKING number of votes .. but .. below .. THIS is what I posted on my personal Facebook wall this morning:
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".. win lose or draw - I feel so betrayed today
.. the numbers are in and still coming in. You cannot take back what you have done.
| Over the years, I have been accused of being a nice person many times .. many have detested me for being nice. I did not really understand so I just never really paid a lot of attention to it since I am normally a happy person UNTIL I became an elderly single woman that felt life-draining depressingly unloved & unwanted & worthless with zero reason to live AFTER someone online .. seemingly deliberately .. took advantage of my kindness, generosity & loving heart. I HEALED .. and the experience did have some beneficial health effects in my recovery from Dementia process - it was far cheaper than any Occupational Therapy would have been .. BUT .. I still need to work more on my boundaries!!! |  |
 | Turns out that being a nice person actually has a lot of unexpected good benefits :) Yet I am all too aware of the dangers of being nice as well from my lack of social comprehension and abusive childhood. Plus I still have sensory overload meltdowns sometimes. I also used to be a writer - personal and professional. I was quite good at it :) tho I have serious communication issues .. but I discovered that I can say with art what I have no words to say. I still have a LOT to say that only art [both words & pictures] can coax into it making sense to others. |
| I just replaced the computer monitor on my desktop .. the old one just quit working one day. I did not think to buy a touchscreen monitor even though I have been wanting one for years - I love the one on my slow ancient Win [7 upgraded now to] 10 laptop. I have a drawing tablet my family bought me for Christmas - simple & uncomplicated to use. |  |
 | I have not been using my drawing tablet much because my hands are painfully swollen and sore a lot more now since the doctor changed my medications this year. I had not really noticed that I was not using it much until yesterday. That discovery was traumatic for me. My current linearly thinking during all this dementia healing means that .. sometimes .. I just do not "see" more than one branch of the tree at a time. Other times I see all of the "tree". I need digital painting in my life as well as traditional painting. My art career started with discovering that I could oil paint via the Bob Ross method. Arthritis & Fibromyalgia took that away from me. Digital painting gave it back to me. |
| My entire family have amazingly awesome physical art/drawing abilities that I do not :( But I am the one that WANTS & NEEDS to create art as a work career as well as a daily life need to communicate. Art communicates. Art touches people where they live. Art connects us to ourselves as well as to each other. My new touchscreen monitor arrives tomorrow :) |  |
 Gaia Tree - 1st Draft | This morning I finished a painting that I had started a few days earlier. I have been struggling with all this social isolation as well as the tsunami of political horrors I see happening in America daily while the Coronavirus also daily rages and ravages our Country and our people. Being at high risk means I am alone and have been ..mostly.. & social distanced .. for months now except for the Little Doggie. I miss daily in-person conversations & interactions with peoples who talk with and to me :) Being an extroverted introvert means I really miss ordinary daily human social contact like
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I AM working on it :) ... I have an iPhone [an empty unused Youtube Channel - today: subject to change] but so far it is still very difficult for me to figure out how to use it correctly for making videos. I do love the Facetime ability tho .. little doggie gets to see my daughter which makes him sooo happy [he loves her!!!] yet he cannot find her or really understand why he can hear and see her but not smell her and no jumping on her :) .. he runs around sniffing for her .. lolol .. she is here while not being here .. it is magic!!! As my daughter says | Yes he does have a variety of names!  Mr Shrieker's Pose When Listening |
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Anyone who knows me knows I have an opinion on everything and I
am happy to share it .. even unasked for .. lol .. so it should not
surprise anyone to discover that my little doggie is also a VERY loud
and opinionated little critter too! He tho is MUCH cuter than I am so he gets forgiven for his opinions faster than I do :) I have this hanging on my door to remind me to be much more patient with him and with me :) When he needs grooming, he looks like a dustmop :) |
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I have been doing a lot of coasting along since I got to North
Carolina the end of August 2019. First there was my serious vision issues which meant I had to have two cataract surgeries .. Thanksgiving & Christmas .. which then I had different vision issues .. amblyopia aka lazy eye complicated my healing afterwards .. lolol .. that was unexpected .. and then just as I was able to see and drive again .. CORONAVIRUS and Stay Home happened to me and the world. I have not gotten my new glasses after the surgery YET due to the Covid-19 virus risk .. it does NOT seem like a good idea for me to go a doctor office full of elderly people in varying stages of health from before, during or healing stages of eye surgeries. |
