Tuesday, June 16, 2020

Art Communicates & Connects

Over the years, I have been accused of being a nice person many times .. many have detested me for being nice. I did not really understand so I just never really paid a lot of attention to it since I am normally a happy person

UNTIL I became an elderly single woman that felt life-draining depressingly unloved & unwanted & worthless with zero reason to live

AFTER someone online .. seemingly deliberately .. took advantage of my kindness, generosity & loving heart.

I HEALED .. and the experience did have some beneficial health effects in my recovery from Dementia process - it was far cheaper than any Occupational Therapy would have been .. BUT .. I still need to work more on my boundaries!!!

I do not know if it is possible for me to unlearn living in auto-TRUST mode.

I do not even know yet if I WANT to live in an auto-UNtrust mode.

Here are a few of the articles I read this morning

Turns out that being a nice person actually has a lot of unexpected good benefits :)

Yet I am all too aware of the dangers of being nice as well from my lack of social comprehension and abusive childhood.

Plus I still have sensory overload meltdowns sometimes.

I also used to be a writer - personal and professional.

I was quite good at it :) tho I have serious communication issues .. but I discovered that I can say with art what I have no words to say.

I still have a LOT to say that only art [both words & pictures] can coax into it making sense to others.

I just replaced the computer monitor on my desktop .. the old one just quit working one day.

I did not think to buy a touchscreen monitor even though I have been wanting one for years - I love the one on my slow ancient Win [7 upgraded now to] 10 laptop.

I have a drawing tablet my family bought me for Christmas - simple & uncomplicated to use.

I have not been using my drawing tablet much because my hands are painfully swollen and sore a lot more now since the doctor changed my medications this year.

I had not really noticed that I was not using it much until yesterday. That discovery was traumatic for me.

My current linearly thinking during all this dementia healing means that .. sometimes .. I just do not "see" more than one branch of the tree at a time.

Other times I see all of the "tree".

I need digital painting in my life as well as traditional painting.

My art career started with discovering that I could oil paint via the Bob Ross method. Arthritis & Fibromyalgia took that away from me. Digital painting gave it back to me.

My entire family have amazingly awesome physical art/drawing abilities that I do not :(

But I am the one that WANTS & NEEDS to create art as a work career as well as a daily life need to communicate.

Art communicates. Art touches people where they live. Art connects us to ourselves as well as to each other.

My new touchscreen monitor arrives tomorrow :)

Sunday, June 14, 2020

Lost & Found Path Directions

Earlier I told a friend on FB earlier that I had lost my digital painting directional path for awhile. BUT that I think I have rediscovered it now. Below is a link to one of my digital paintings from back in the early days of my art career. 


The time line of my art career: 
  • I started oil painting.
  • I got involved in the Print On Demand [POD] movement [mostly graphic design art] and had some minor successes there
  • while also working in the corporate world full time in various website, technical & art capacities
  • and started working with watercolors and inks
  • then the POD stuff came apart at the seams & left me reeling and disheartened
  • then my Corporate art career ended for various reasons including bizarre health issues
  • and I was wandering in a sea of confusion for several years.
  • SOMEHOW along the way I managed to find a door back to the ordinary world .. more or less .. while still pursuing traditional art opportunities using paper & canvas and silk scarf dyeing.
  • My brain cells that are left have rearranged themselves to suit themselves.
  • 2020 - digital painting as well as traditional painting are STILL works in progress.
I have NOT painted anything digitally recently .. YET
It will all work out .. I do not have to be in a hurry!!!

I do NOT think as fast as I used to do .. and Little Doggie shrieking aka barking makes thinking more difficult! But life is good!!!

Saturday, June 13, 2020

Interesting Times


Gaia Tree - 1st Draft
This morning I finished a painting that I had started a few days earlier.

I have been struggling with all this social isolation as well as the tsunami of political horrors I see happening in America daily while the Coronavirus also daily rages and ravages our Country and our people.

Being at high risk means I am alone and have been ..mostly.. & social distanced .. for months now except for the Little Doggie. I miss daily in-person conversations & interactions with peoples who talk with and to me :)

Being an extroverted introvert means I really miss ordinary daily human social contact like 
and little Mr Shrieker tends to grate on my last nerve much more than he used to do since he barks and lunges and acts crazy vicious at my neighbors [yes he has a muzzle and hates wearing it]  when we see them on our walks. I am saving on gas staying home tho!
Gaia Tree - Finished Painting

I have discovered that it can be VERY different having a male dog instead of a female dog.His territorial protector ownership of me instincts are in overdrive :( I wonder if that is because he was a rescue from the Shelter? He has terrible separation anxiety!

There is NO IGNORING when he shrieks .. for me or for the neighbors :(

I am trying to get a video of him shrieking 
..but I have not managed to learn how to do that correctly YET

I AM working on it :) ... I have an iPhone

[an empty unused Youtube Channel - today: subject to change]

but so far it is still very difficult for me to figure out how to use it correctly for making videos.

I do love the Facetime ability tho .. little doggie gets to see my daughter which makes him sooo happy [he loves her!!!] yet he cannot find her or really understand why he can hear and see her but not smell her and no jumping on her :)

 .. he runs around sniffing for her .. lolol .. she is here while not being here .. it is magic!!!

As my daughter says
 ....... he is lucky he is CUTE!!!

Yes he does have a variety of names! 

Mr Shrieker's Pose When Listening

Friday, June 12, 2020

Opinions R Me & Little Doggie

 Anyone who knows me knows I have an opinion on everything and I am happy to share it .. even unasked for .. lol .. so it should not surprise anyone to discover that my little doggie is also a VERY loud and opinionated little critter too!

He tho is MUCH cuter than I am so he gets forgiven for his opinions faster than I do :)

I have this hanging on my door to remind me to be much more patient with him and with me :)

When he needs grooming, he looks like a dustmop :)
 I have been doing a lot of coasting along since I got to North Carolina the end of August 2019.

First there was my serious vision issues which meant I had to have two cataract surgeries .. Thanksgiving & Christmas .. which then I had different vision issues .. amblyopia aka lazy eye complicated my healing afterwards .. lolol .. that was unexpected .. and then just as I was able to see and drive again .. CORONAVIRUS and Stay Home happened to me and the world.

I have not gotten my new glasses after the surgery YET due to the Covid-19 virus risk .. it does NOT seem like a good idea for me to go a doctor office full of elderly people in varying stages of health from before, during or healing stages of eye surgeries.


When Trump was campaigning and won the Electoral College while losing the popular vote to Hilary Clinton, I was shocked that anyone let alon...